by Jenelle Luntzel
Long ago and far away
In a land known as the Shire
There dwelt a chubby hobbit-maid
With hair the shade of fire
Her name was Comfrey Boffin
Her complexion rosy-fair
Her bright green eyes bewitched the heart
Of every hobbit there
Her flaming tresses were the crown
Upon her head and feet
Her dimples, flashing with her smile
Were altogether sweet
As I have mentioned once before
Each lad in town was smitten
But when those suitors came to woo
She'd say, "Not one is fittin'."
For Comfrey Boffin had a flaw
She thought that men were trouble
With nose turned up and eyes turned down
She burst each hobbit's bubble
Now Old Man Boffin and his wife
Were starting to despair
Of ever seeing in marital bliss
Their daughter, Comfrey-fair
"Oh daughter, mushroom of my eye
I yearn to give your hand."
"Never," vowed she, "Unless he be
The best cook in the land."
"But wait, before you think you've won
'Tis not a simple thing
Dear father, rules must be met
Which have been set by me."
Her sire was stunned, with open mouth
At daughter's cunning wit
"Where can her brain be from," he thought
*I* never gave her it
Comfrey had saved the best for last
"I'll tell you of the test.
The man who bakes the smallest cake
I'll wed, for he's the best!"
Papa dear was still confused
But he tried to comprehend
"A doughty cook, the smallest cake
That's all it takes to win?"
Fair Comfrey smiled, looking smug
A secret in her eye
No tiny cake would win *her* heart
Her standards were too high
So hobbits flocked from everywhere
But Comfrey stayed unwed
For true to word, no cake would suit
And many tears were shed
One day a stranger came to town
Short, dark and handsome, he
From far away - o'er hill and dale
Sweet Comfrey for to see
In cupped hands, he held before
Our picky lady fair
A cake so small, so miniscule
It simply wasn't there!
So maiden found her own true love
They wed midst joy and glee
They lived happily after
Full of love, and slenderly.
Copyright © 1997 Jenelle Luntzel
All Rights Reserved.